This blog is the story of my journey from lawyer to stay-at-home mommy. After finding out I was pregnant with baby #2, we decided that we would give it a go for awhile with me staying home with the kids. I worked after having our first child Deacon, so this experience will be a new one for me. I decided to blog mainly so that I would have a memorialization of the process since those first few months with a new baby are a fog anyway. But years from now, whether I never made it back or whether I am spending my days in suits and heels, I want to be able to look back and see what God is teaching me in these days of going from the courtroom to the playroom.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Little Shopping Horrors

Ok, I shouldn't say horrors. Really, it's just a few adjustments. Yesterday I ventured out with Miller for my first post-partum and post-work clothes shopping trip. There were a couple big differences in the before and after of shopping since leaving my day job. Usually, when I go out to buy clothes, I am looking for work clothes - suits, pants, sweater sets, dress shirts, you get the picture. I probably haven't purchased a pair of jeans in about 4 years. Casual Friday was eliminated at work, and I am lucky if I make it out of a pair of gym shorts on Saturdays, so there was really no need to purchase any. Plus, I am one of those people who live in closet denial. I leave clothes that I can no longer fit into in the closet anyway as inspiration for my weight loss. Usually it only serves to provide inspiration for an argument between Matthew and I about the fact that I have too much crap in the closet. Anywho, I'd rather have 4 non-fitting pairs of jeans in my closet and not wear any of them than break down and buy the next size up. We can discuss that freakish issue another time.

So, back to shopping. Normally, I get out there and my eye goes straight to the work clothes. I tend to shop in those types of stores, too. Almost everything in my closet right now came from the Ann Taylor outlet. And I was royally peeved when Ann Taylor Loft's line became more casual - didn't they know that I NEEDED their line to be more work oriented?! Their branding shift was throwing off my whole shopping system. But shopping for me these days has changed, and as far as yesterday was concerned, I knew I needed to find me some casual clothes and fast because people are going to start noticing that I am wearing the same 3 outfits over and over again.

Of course, shopping at this point is complicated by the fact that I have a 10 week old baby. Unless you are a freak of nature or one of those people who strictly stuck to their diet while pregnant, you probably aren't back to pre-preggo weight at 10 weeks. At least I'm clinging to that thought so don't tell me if it is a delusion. I've never enjoyed shopping when I haven't been at the weight I wanted to be. It usually goes like this. I pick out a few things and head on into the dressing room. Then I proceed to try on each item, usually with increasing frustration. I start getting hot because I am getting panicked, so then I start to sweat a little and of course the clothes really don't fit then because they are sticking to me. Then I usually leave in a huff, vowing to not eat for the rest of the day. And then the day usually closes out with me eating some sort of cookies or ice cream or something because I am shopping depressed and haven't eaten since my little dressing room episode. I think I have gotten off this crazy train but some times I find myself buying a ticket for the next ride anyway.

So, at 10 weeks post-partum, I wasn't feeling so hot yesterday. Like Shakira, my hips don't lie, and they are telling me that I had a few too many burgers and fries while I was pregnant. My midsection is still covered in stretch marks and my belly button while probably never see the belly ring I worked so hard for again. And my boobs.....well, let's just say breastfeeding will be a whole other blog post. Plus, I was shopping at Old Navy and their sizes run small. Puhlease agree with me that their sizes run small. I might otherwise have a nervous breakdown.

It was hard to not let my eye be drawn to the more work-oriented clothes in each store. It really kind of hit me at that point that I was going to need to see a shift in my shopping and for once, it was nice to live in the casual clothes area of the stores for awhile. It was nice to pick out a couple of T-shirts instead of stiffly starched work shirts that, honestly, I can't really iron very well anyway. I even made out with a decent amount of clothes for the money.

Which brings me to the biggest before and after difference in shopping -the money, honey. I didn't leave a burger-flippin' salary, so we've had to adjust to a serious difference in income. Seriously. I knew this would be the case going in, but yesterday I was really put to the test. When working, I'd just go out and pretty much pick out what I wanted, for me and for Deacon. I wasn't buying really expensive clothes, but for the most part, we could handle the financial aspects of my little shopping trips. I found out yesterday that I am really going to have to pull in the reigns of my spending. It was a bit of an eye opener for me, but I think it will help me see just how very little I really need and value much more the things that I actually have.

As hard as it was to pass up a bunch of good stuff yesterday (especially for the kids), it is still so worth being at home with the kiddos. I'll take a little budget crunching any day if it means getting to spend more time with them. Now, if I can just say that as confidently as it relates to the loss of my cleaning lady.... 


  1. Oh Jamie! I so feel your pain! Although I kept working and only have one child, I have gone through a lot of this and totally know what you mean. Keep your eye on the bigger goal, while you clip coupons and check the salespapers, and when you go shopping you will find so much more for Deacon and Miller than you will ever find for for the housekeeper (she was first to go in my house also), just realize things don't have to be spotless to be perfect! Your doing great, keep up the good work.

  2. I'm loving this post!!! I went through the exact same thing after having Sophie and so did all of my friends. I wasn't adjusting from work to stay at home clothes, just trying to find something besides the 2 pair of sweatpants that fit (one of which was still maternity) and the 2 identical shirts and one sweatshirt that I could still wear and breastfeed without becoming more of a hot mess than I already was! I was so sure that every store had gone and changed their sizes while I was pregnant because nothing I ever tried on fit. She was born in January and think I gave up and just waited until summer came around and bought loose knit dresses from Walmart because I gave up on breastfeeding at that point (she refused to sit still and hasn't since then). I don't think I wore makeup or actually blow dried my hair for a whole year after I had each kid too. (You know it's bad when your husband tells you one day, "Your eyes look really pretty today, what did you do different?" And you just look at him and say, "I put makeup on today.") Good luck with everything and I think you look great!